I used to like being a %26quot;nice%26quot; guy. I started to hear that bad guys get all the girls though and that nice guys are only used as cushions always expected to be there and never get the girl. I got really upset and started to hate myself. My confidence tanked since I started to become self-conscious and highlighted every single superficial thing (looks, money, bad attitude) that bad a**es had that made girls like them so much and things that i just didn't have (I didn't want the attitude). there is a girl I love who, unfortunately, I am friends with. I have cheered her up a lot and made her feel good about herself and help her deal with her problems. She has very low-esteem and I told her she is the most beautiful girl in the world (which i think is true). She wrote in a birthday card, %26quot; I can't believe a person like me ever met a person like you%26quot;. At first, it got my hopes up but I keep thinking its just us as friends. I never asked anyone out before, because I am scared to get the %26quot;You are such a nice guy but...%26quot; response. To me it seems, that girls will only like me as a friend, never more. I am not a rule breaker, I like having fun, but am not into drinking or drugs and stuff like that.
At the end of the school year, I changed . It was against everything I stood for but I thought I had no other choice. I started getting into fights (even beating the bad boys and ruining their looks.. jealousy i know), did not listen to the rules, and didn't treat girls with all the respect I used to but the way a bad boy would. I used to be completely straight-edge... something i was proud of.. but I started to drink to make myself %26quot;cooler%26quot; ( I know it's dumb but it worked) What happened is that girls I had never met before, started to like me. They were the wrong type of girls that I wasn't attracted to ( I like swee,kind ones) but still.. they were girls who liked me. It felt great because for once I was getting %26quot;something%26quot; after all the effort and time and devotion I gave girls as a nice guy came in an instant as a bad boy. I lost my patience Being the nice guy came to me naturally , but I started to think that no girl would ever like me like that. The girls I was friends with originally told me they wanted the old me back and that they really miss me. They didn't have that person to fall back on when they were depressed or upset. They are not mean girls, actually most are pretty sweet, but I got tired of not being wanted. The girl I like actually missed me. I still love her more than anyone else, but I think that If i go back to my self I am just going to be %26quot;that guy%26quot; who never has any girl loving him.
Maybe it It is just a sick, distant dream of mine, but for once I wish that a girl would think of ME as the most good-looking , handsome one and for me to actually mean the world to them. This mantra of %26quot;nice guys finish last%26quot; really gave me a negative image about people in general. I don't trust anyone because I think everyone just wants to use me and never reciprocate anything to me, which is why I don't want to give any one a chance. I want to trust in people, but don't have the heart to. So, I made a badass image of myself so for once I could %26quot;win%26quot;. A lot of my friends (both male and female) miss the old me, because I was always there for them and would always help those who I wanted to help with their problems (esp the girl I like). I didn't think I was that important to them because i did those things i did because thats how I was brought up. I got tired of waiting for a girl to actually like me and went out and became an a**hole. I gained muscle, changed my clothing, and wanted to be more an a**hole than I ever wanted to be. I don't want to change I really don't want to be this bad guy, but I think and have read that girls only %26quot;like like%26quot; the new way (bad boy) Should I keep the new me? Give people another chance? Go back to being the nice guy? I have lost patience with being that %26quot;saintly%26quot; character people knew me as, who was always there for a girl, and made them feel like they were the %26quot;prettiest girl%26quot; in the room. I never got anywhere and I don't think girls %26quot;love%26quot; me like that.What to do about how i feel and my dilemma? Long, but PLEASE ( esp girls) I need your help?You should just be who you want to be and do what makes you happy.You sound like a really great person- key is to just be yourself and be confident in yourself.What to do about how i feel and my dilemma? Long, but PLEASE ( esp girls) I need your help?the answer is very simple- JUST BE YOURSELF, the right girl will like you for you. Never pretend to be anything you are not, because it will blow up in your face in the endWhat to do about how i feel and my dilemma? Long, but PLEASE ( esp girls) I need your help?It is your choice if you want to change back. If you don't want to lose what you look like now, because it brings you attention, then you can revert your personality back to what it was. Whoever it is you want to be, a bad guy or a nice guy, it is your choice, and the only one that is able to change your situation is you.whoa this is long, aha
BUT, my opinion is, go back to how you used to be, if you didn't want to be differnt and kind of fit in with the %26quot;stereo typical populars%26quot; then don't be one.
personally, i think you sound lovely, and any girl would be lucky to have someone so caring, i'd much rather have someone who doesnt do drugs, doesnt drink, cos then you know they are genuine, and caring, ect.
sure, you can keep your confidence, your clothes, ect, but go back to being a nice guy, girls like that, and also, i like guys who are good in school/college, at least you know they are going somewhere in life, thats why, 'rule breakers' are a nono! care for others, make it obvious that your a nice guy, seriously you gotta be patient, it'll pay off babe.
anyways, i dont know if that helped, but waheey! good luck! xxJust be yourself. Would you rather be someone else and have a girlfriend, or be true to yourself and feel good about your morals and be single? I think one cannot be in a HEALTHY relationship until they are comfortable in their own skin. It's like building blocks; you need a stable foundation in order to build a strong relationship.
And ask that girl out. Or get another friend to ask what she thinks about you and get him to report back if you're afraid of the rejection factor. I also suffer from that phobia, so that's what I do.
Also, now that you have a six pack, if you revert to your normal self you'll be a hot, caring, mature guy. Sounds like a win to me!wow that is a lot of information, but i read it all. i just answered a similar question 20min ago! alright, you wanna know what i think? i think that this world is so screwed up, that nobody knows who THEY want to be; it is just this movie star wants me to be like this, and this magazine is screaming “get a better look” or here is some anorexic girl who is only like that to get your attention, even if its a bad attention. i absolutely respect the “good guy” in fact, i LOVE the “good guy” i don’t know your personally, but I do know that you are the type of guy I would have respected, loved, gone out with, made feel good when he makes be feel better. I know what you were looking for and I understand how you want to be the “bad boy” to try and get “ better girls” but the truth is that the “better girls” and are the nice one who actually care about you. They are the girls who will want to love you even when you do something wrong, or when you fight they will always be there for you because you were always there for them. The girls that you get now, will just like you and when they come to a bump in the road cheat and flirt to get back at you. They won’t try, they won’t love you for who you are. You spent all that time loving girls and being respectful and creating boundries and now that is broken, those girls tore you down all ready, can you imagine what it would be like to marry one of them? I think that you should stay true to who you were back then when you respected the women around you. You sound like an amazing guy who has just gone astray. I have found that by staying true to yourself, you get the most genuine relationships. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, it only matters what God and you think of yourself. Hang in there :)
This note took an hour to come up with but I hope it had impact on you. God bless you, PS im the “good little church girl” i understand what you are going through
hit me up :) parachute0207@yahoo.com
