Friday 7 October 2011

You are not responsible for your feelings, only your attitude towards them, right?

We are all born with a personality and innate feelings, we didn't choose them. But I think we are responsible for how we react to them, right?



example:

I don't like the fact that I get jealous or feel inferior in certain situations.



Many people would not be jealous in the same situation.



Since I did not have the option to choose my personality when I was born or change the environment of my impressionistic youth, I am not responsible for how I feel.



So I am only responsible how I react to my feelings. Am I correct?You are not responsible for your feelings, only your attitude towards them, right?Yes.
You are not responsible for your feelings, only your attitude towards them, right?
Nope. You can change how you feel, once you grow up.
You are not responsible for your feelings, only your attitude towards them, right?
You simply was yourself? Gimme a break.
You can control how you feel sometimes.
I agree to a certain extent. I think you can change certain things about how you feel about the world and other people, based on life experiences. But as far as your overall personality, I do feel there's certain things about it that you CAN'T change.
It's a good question, but in the way you frame it, you make a lot of assumptions. As a psychologist, I would disagree that you're born with a personality; you've inherited tendencies, to be sure, but a lot depends on chance and upbringing. I would say that you have a choice as to whether you feel angry or happy. It may take some work, looking into why you react to certain things, but at the end of the day, I think that once you re-examine your feelings in-depth, you'll find that your current feelings are often about something that you've changend your mind about a long time ago.



Eventually, you'll find you not only have taken responsibility for your feelings, but your initial feelings to situations changes, out of habit! :)



I hope this answers your question.
I think you can exercise a limited amount of control over your emotions. You can do this by using your brain to focus on other things.



The other day I had a fight with my friend -- nothing major, just a little argument. Immediately afterward, I went to a party with some other friends (the two events were unrelated). I didn't want to be grumpy at the party, so I made a conscious choice to focus on the happy things going on around me -- the party -- instead of what was bothering me -- the fight with my friend. It worked. My emotions followed where my attention was, and I had a fun night.



You mentioned jealousy. You may not be able to control the fact that you are jealous of another person. But you might be able to use your brain to focus on how lucky you already are, for example. You might be able to come up with reasons not to be jealous after all, and sort of talk your emotions out of it. Likewise, you might be able to overcome feelings of inferiority by focusing your mind on the good things about yourself.



But some emotions are too strong, and you can't shift your focus away from them. If a close relative of mine were to die, I wouldn't be able to cheer myself up very easily because I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else.



Also, you are right -- even to the extent that you can't control your emotions, you can pretty much ALWAYS control the actions you take because of them. At least, you should be able to control your actions. Then again, our judicial system does allow for some leeway here. For example, we make the distinction between murder in the 2nd degree ('heat of the moment,' 'crime of passion' stuff) and 1st degree (something plotted out ahead of time). Both degrees of murder can stem from emotion, but I guess the thought is that, while people sometimes lose control of their actions in the first moments of an intense emotion, it's unjustifiable not to control yourself in the long term.



Anyway... yeah.
yeah you can't stop yourself from feeling sad or angry in certain situations...but you shouldn't take that out on other people
I think so

Because:

You can easily tell your self how you are feeling and if you want to change it, but does it actually change?No

People try to convince themselves that they will change but it is set in their minds what they are actually feeling
Yes, to some extent.
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