Help me please. is this emotional abuse or is this just a mean parent.? if its abuse, what can i do?

My mom and I used to be bestfriends, up until i turned about 11. then she started cutting me down in anyway possible, and was constantly yelling at me.

Now I have a boyfriend, and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. We have been together 9 months now. Recently we had sex for the first time and I didn't tell my mom until like 2 weeks after. Then I decided I would tell her because she is always complaining on how i never talk to her. and she always says she wants me to tell her when i do have sex, so i did. She promised me she would keep it between me and her, and she didnt. she went and told my aunt, and my aunt told my cousin. when i confronted her about it she just said i will tell whoever i want. and now she is like blackmailing me with this saying if you dont change your attitude i will tell people. (i have no attitude i assure you). I cry every day over this. i feel like i dont even have a mom. i feel like she is like a girl in my class that i cant stand and cant stand me. constantly competeing to see who is better. i am an all a student and star of the volleyball team. is there anything i can do? please help me i am tired of crying. and also my boyfriend said he will not leave me over my mom but i am scared he will becuase i think she will push him over the edge one day.

she is always telling me how i am such a bad kid, and always yelling at me. and she is always saying i ruin her day and stuff like that. she also told me i am the worst kid she has ever seen.Help me please. is this emotional abuse or is this just a mean parent.? if its abuse, what can i do?you are 11? first of all I thought there were age limits here

secondly, what in the world are you doing having sex at 11?

so when your mother changed and starting treating you badly, what caused it, there must have been something that changed your great relationship to this one of abuse

and if you are abused, it should be reported to authorities, it is against the law in most states, and abuse is not always physical
Help me please. is this emotional abuse or is this just a mean parent.? if its abuse, what can i do?
That is verbal abuse,have u talked 2 a counselor at school about it?
Help me please. is this emotional abuse or is this just a mean parent.? if its abuse, what can i do?
as if a mother is like that. i mean black mailing to tell people that you had sex?
This is emotional black mail and you need to talk to some one, Some one at school, Child line what ever, Im sure if you googled it, it would come up with someone for you to talk to.



Also if your mum says it again just tell her to go ahead and do it. Call her bluff, see what happens. Spend more time out the house or in your room. Make sure you keep the house clean. Dont give her a excus to be mad at you or give you ****, Be clean and tidy. Keep the house clean dont even talk to her that much and if you feel like your going to snap count to 10 and walk away.
you do not concede to your mother in this case. The best option is to cut her off from your personal life, it is the best, trust me,. you cannot be bestfriends with your mother anymore. Similar things happened between me and my dad so me and my brother just isolated him, he comes back from work, he eats and then he doesnt see us again. We dont talk about anything of value or things that could be possibly used against us around him and sometimes we talk in code. he doesnt understand us but soon he got the point.

I would just frown and get angry when he says something until he stopped talking to me completely or else it was something relating to college. Life is actually managable, some people are that way...they are described as Killjoys, there is nothing you can do about it. Sorry.
This is happening at two levels - you and your mom.



You first, since you are the one asking. You are in a difficult position. Your trust has been broken on an intimate matter. The relationship between you and your mom is strained as a result. As for the consequences of her talking to people, I don't see it as such a big deal. It isn't exactly a surprise for a sexually healthy person to have a sexual experience. No one is mostly going to do more than shrug and wonder at your mom's verbosity on the matter. What has happened, has happened, and the best you can do is move on.



Now for your mom. From how you describe it, it seems she has an issue with you coming into your womanhood. Not against you per se as her daughter, but more as the 'younger woman' on the block. I see this in the nature of your relationship that seems to change with puberty, her interest in knowing your sexual experience when it happens, and inability to deal with it in a balanced manned when she comes to know about it.



I see these kinds of symptoms chiefly when a woman is insecure about her own attractiveness, fears ageing, or approaches menopause (for hormonal reasons). Not to say that this is what is happening with her, but if the way you describe things is accurate, it is likely she needs help.



You haven't mentioned a father/male figure in her life. Is there one and what is the kind of relationship there? Or, you may be able to speak with your aunt/another adult you could trust with a conversation of this nature with the subject of concern about your mother, rather than your sexual experience, which is only the trigger. She may be able to talk things out with your mom and help her see things more clearly.



I don't know how a school counsellor would help unless s/he counsels parents on their issues, or you're aiming for legal intervention, which is something that may be disproportionate in this situation, awful as it is for you.
We aren't hearing the whole story here, and we don't know what's going on from your mom's point of view, so we can't say for sure. It's normal for teens and parents to fight and to say things they don't really mean, but this is getting out of hand.



It's definitely unehalthy for both of you, and you should speak with another adult about it ASAP. Talk with a school counselor, or an adult family member that you trust. Don't think %26quot;oh, it will only make her more mad and won't do any good%26quot; - if she's going to keep getting mad anyway, it might as well be over something that make a positive difference in the situation. If nothing else, the counselor can at least talk with your mom and make her aware that the situation needs to change. Don't let this just slide by - keep talking and keep asking for help.
my mom never really abused me in any way..sometimes we have little fights.. but not like yours. I think the only way is to talk to your mom and tell her everything you have told us and maybe that'll work...thats one way if you dont want to tell any1 else like a counseler at school.
my mom did/does the same thing to me. she calls me everything ur mom calls u. what i did was i moved my room up to the attic away from everyone and just totally just my mom out of my life...it was the only salutation. except my mother does more than just verbal abuse...when i go back to school im guna talk to a school counselor, and maybe u should too.