Whenever my mom gets mad at me (sometimes for a valid reason) she just goes too far with it, for example today I could not sync her photos from her iPhone to the laptop, she started to swear at me saying her iPhone is broke and I SHOULD be able to do it and how if anything gets wiped off she will cave my face in. I was not saying anything and when I tried to explain what I said she told me %26quot;You need to change your ******* attitude or your never going to amount to anything in life. She dosent stop either she did not stop shouting for 45 minutes whilst she was sitting right next to me. If i come home after a test and say %26quot; Mum I got a B today in science!%26quot; she wont say well done for getting a B, she will simply say well you could have gottein an A*. Its not just me it happens to, my mum suspected my Dad of cheating on her but it was pretty obvious that he hadnt. But before my dad could explain she flew off the handle and kicked him out. Now she reguarly logs into his facebook and goes on his phone to look through his messages and pick up on the smallest things.
I am not writing on this just because its a place I can ***** about her without her finding out, its because at the end of it all I just feel so worthless today she kept on saying %26quot;I wash my hands of you montell, I really do.%26quot; I am a 14 year old lad and I dont cry at sad films, murders etc. but sometimes I just break down into tears like today I started crying afetr half an hour of her shouting in my ear and she told me to get out her face and go to bed. at 8:00.
she tells me Ill never amout to anything blah blah blah, but how can she say that, she ran away from home at sixteen and she had a privalaged up bringing she dropped out of school with 2 B%26#039;s and a D. I just dont get how her mind works. I just want to know how to block it all out for good. stop myself from feeling so down. Please someone help?How Do I Deal with my Mom Making me Feel Pathetic and worthless?Parents (Especially ones who have brought up in abuse/harsh circumstances-or-made lots of errors themselves to begin with) will often do what psychologists refer to as %26quot;projection%26quot;. That means- they want to clean the slate from their own lives, and in creating YOU want the %26#039;perfection%26#039; they couldn%26#039;t accomplish for themselves growing up. In other words, they want to live %26quot;the perfect world%26quot; through you. It truly is a very sad thing (having gone through this myself). I%26#039;ve %26quot;slapped%26quot; myself in my hands, because at times I have done this to my own kids- and even though they don%26#039;t tell me, I can sense some distance. Then I tell myself: %26quot;oh my god, I%26#039;ve become my own dad%26quot;.
At times, it could be a manifestation of her own fears and stresses- She may not fully realize what she%26#039;s doing.
Regardless- this WILL come to a head! You can either %26quot;blow up%26quot; or write a letter letting it all out, and leaving it somewhere she%26#039;ll surely see it, and be able to read it privately. She%26#039;ll be in denial at first, but then I%26#039;m sure she%26#039;ll be more receptive to it, and approach you to talk.
But...DON%26#039;T LET IT GO!!!How Do I Deal with my Mom Making me Feel Pathetic and worthless?No one deserves to be treated like that. That%26#039;s verbal abuse and its illegal, so you should talk to your counselor at school or move in with your dad.How Do I Deal with my Mom Making me Feel Pathetic and worthless?Hang in there. I had a mom similar to yours and nothing I did would change her鈥? Believe me there is nothing you can do to help her mental illness. It really is a mental illness. You know in the back of your mind she is missing a few marbles, and you know you are doing nothing wrong, she has a problem. Unfortunately there isn too much you can do if she isn physically abusing you. All though in my opinion I found myself at times wishing she would just hit me and get it over with. My advice would be to get involved in as much as you can at school, and try to stay away from home as often as possible. This is what I did, I was in cheer, basketball, ASB, Girl Scouts, you name it! I wasn home during the week, and then on the weekends I spent the night at my friend鈥檚 house. During the Summers I would work at summer camps so I didn have to be home.
Giving some space might help her a bit, as well as writing her a letter about how you feel. What鈥檚 good about writing a letter is that she can say anything back to you. You can say exactly how you feel and how her actions are hurting you.
Hang in there! Only a few more years! Know that she has a problem not you!Trust me my mum is exactly like your mom. My mom compares me to my highschool drop out cousin. She thinks a highschool dropout is much more smarter than me.I know my cousins more than anyone else. The **** they done in school in year 7, is **** I can%26#039;t do in year 10.
she will come to me with an old phone, and tell me to upload music, and the only way to upload music on that piece of **** is by using an sd reader which my computer doesn%26#039;t have. And when I try explaining this to her she will say that I%26#039;m useless.
Another time, I took my plate upstairs, and brought it back down at 11 after she finished washing the dishes, and guess what she done? She smashed the plate and said that she wont wash the dishes; couldnt she have told me, unless I dont wash the dishes she will smash it or something
Now dont give up.. Parents are there to give us a hard time. Now I recommend that you dont talk about her past, such as dropping out with 2 B%26#039;s. At times like this, you shouldn%26#039;t reply to anything she says unless it%26#039;s a question. She will lecture you like this, and if you respond she will probably beat you with the, %26quot;change your attitude%26quot;, so dont respond to anything she says, she will shut up after awhile. Try telling her how you feel when she does this. I%26#039;m sure she%26#039;ll understand. And no matter what, do not mock your mom.. Dont say %26quot;shut the **** up%26quot; either.Try your best to obey her, while trying your best not to take anything hurtful she says personally.
When a person runs away at 16 years old %26amp; then becomes a parent. They probably had parents that acted the same way as they do. It%26#039;s passed down from the parent to the kid.
Also seems like she has a lot of anger, and that she%26#039;s more defensive because of her past. But that doesn%26#039;t mean that she doesn%26#039;t love you. Think about it. When she says things like %26quot;You could have gotten an A%26quot;. She obviously knows that you%26#039;re smart %26amp; wants you to succeed in school. Or things like %26quot;You need to change your ******* attitude or your never going to amount to anything in life%26quot;. She wants you to have the best life possible. She just says these things in a different way.One time, my mom and I were going to the dentist and we got a flat tire. Instead of pulling into a car maintenance shop that was RIGHT THERE, she kept going to a gas station half a mile up the road. We got out of the car and she told me to change the flat. I was 16 and I%26#039;m a girl and I only had a basic understanding of how to fix a flat. She started yelling at me when I told her that I didn%26#039;t know what to do and saying, %26quot;Well didn%26#039;t your father teach you how to do it?%26quot; I felt really stupid afterward because my father had taught my brother and sister and I%26#039;d decided to not attend that little seminar. She made me feel so worthless when it was all over and it%26#039;s not the first time she%26#039;d done that.
I know what you mean. It hurts when your mom doesn%26#039;t have faith in you because if she doesn%26#039;t, who does? From what you said about her running away from home at 16 and then putting you down like that, I would assume that she does that because she herself is feeling insecure with her own decisions. She takes her own insecurities and projects them onto other people. She says that you won%26#039;t amount to anything and she really thinks that she is the one who won%26#039;t succeed or that she is the one who made a mistake when she ran away from home. It%26#039;s possible that she now regrets making that decision. I%26#039;m not saying she%26#039;s right by doing this. I just think this is what is going on in her head.
I would guess that if she continues to act the way she does toward your father, there is a very real possibility that she has created a self-fulfilling prophecy and he really will cheat, just to get away from her.
I know how hard it is to hear that from your own mother. Believe me, I do. But try not to let it get to you. I%26#039;m sure that you are a very smart, capable young man and it%26#039;s a shame that your mother doesn%26#039;t see this. You have a lot to offer the world and if your mom can%26#039;t understand that, then it is her loss. Don%26#039;t let it get you down.The best advice I can give you is to prepare to move out when you%26#039;re 18. Besides that, she is extremely negative and critical. These are her faults-not yours. DON%26#039;T believe her and realize this is her problem. You sound like a good kid. Just hang in there. I know how crappy it is to live in a house with a parent like that. I moved out at 18. This isn%26#039;t your fault. SHE is messed up, not you. Keep your head up. As soon as you%26#039;re able, get a job and start making your own money. Keep up your grades-get at least Cs in all your classes. Graduate high school (a must!) and think about going to college. Get friends who will support you and the kind who don%26#039;t do drugs, smoke, or drink. Try to be out of the house whenever you can and keep yourself busy.Samething with my mom. Its really tough, I know. One day she just kept nagging non stop. So I just said, %26quot;can you please shut the f*ck up%26quot;. I didn%26#039;t shout it, I just said it. Now she respects me more. You should try it and stick up to her. You don%26#039;t deserve that.as far as i can see you and your mum don%26#039;t seem to have good communication and you feel emotionally suppressed as your mother doesn%26#039;t let you express yourself. You need to find away to talk to your mum and release anything that you are keeping locked in. You can do this by writing her a letter but if you are too scared of how she will react (and i know this may sound gay) but you can write in a diary of all your feelings about anything and you can hide it from your mum. i was going through a similar stage with my mother so every time i had an argument or felt anything towards her i would write it in my diary and feel a whole lot of better!! it would feel as if a huge weight was taken off my shoulders.
