Hey all, I'm 18 and in University right now. I'm a guy and the youngest in my family with 2 sisters. I'll tell you, my life up to this point has not been a very positive experience. First, I've seen alcoholism and abuse in my family which had a traumatic effect on me, bigger than I thought it would. Next, there are my extended family members who are extremely childish and look down on others. Not only that, but because I'm the %26quot;baby%26quot; of the family, they continued to try to feed me and hold me like a baby until I was about 12 years old. I don't talk to them anymore. Nothing they ever said was constructive even going as far as to blame me for my dad's depression. Then there's the overall attitude of my close family members who complain about other people and say things that drop your spirits. My dad is the worst offender of this.
Because of overall life experiences and all the violence I've witnessed from my dad, I have become very distant and withdrawn from everybody. I spend most of my time giving people dirty looks or telling them to go away when they get close to me. I am always by myself, so much that it began to scare other people in high school. I screwed up dozens of chances to make friends because I am so insecure, socially anxious, and negative overall. I've been working on these issues for over a year now and I've come a long way, even managed to make a friend, but I pushed her away a bit because of my depression. We're not really close anymore, but one day we will be again. I'm doing better now these days. I'm in University right now and when somebody says hi to me, I try to be more friendly and say hi back and I also try to thank people when they do things for me such as holding doors open for me. I'm taking baby steps to trying to be more friendly and social. I'm introverted by nature so I doubt that will change, but we will see. I've seriously thought about moving out of my house just to get away from the wasteful attitude these people have, but that isn't possible right this moment.
I did receive counseling a while back, and they were helpful for the most part. However, they were making me feel worse in some aspects and right now I don't feel like going back to counseling. I plan on being an actor one of these days so that will most likely help me change my attitude by getting myself out there more. I try to avoid my family as much as possible. Mornings can be difficult because if my dad happens to be up, that can screw up my entire day, but I try to not let him get to me. I have no close connections at all and when I do make connections, I start to become a little jealous and insecure about them. I admitted all of this to my friend, which was a huge mistake. Like my family, I look down on most people, though part of the problem is that I feel so grown up right now and it's very difficult to relate to others. The people I connect with best are older than I am.
What can you suggest to me?How do you change your perspective on life when your surrounded by people who hate life?Quit reading Y/A! and find a therapist who can really give you a nice big juicy custom fit answer to your problems. Someone who REALLY knows you.How do you change your perspective on life when your surrounded by people who hate life?Well, you have taken the first step by enrolling into a university. Once you become stable you have to just leave the past behind you and move on to better things, but right now you have to be tough and just keep climbing that mountain while dismissing everything else that is going on around you. I tell my son the same thing, I just wish I would have been smart enough to realize it myself when I was young enough to escape it. Good luck. ;-)
