How do you change your frame of mind?

ok i really want to get over my insecurities. i want to change my attitude and i want to be happy with what i have now and i dont want to keep on wanting more and being unhappy with with what i have. ok well one thing is my sister, i feel like she is way better than me, because she goes out to parties almost every night, drinks and smokes, and stays out with all her friends, and everyone likes her, all the boys WANT her, and i want all that but i dont have it i want to be invited to parties like she is and be wanted by all these guys like she is, and another thing is i am insecure that im not friends with the cool people or any guys like my sister is, and i want to but i dont think im good enough, even she said i dont have that wow factor about me that a lot of people who are popular have. also im insecure about my body, what can i do to change my attitude and mental fram of mind so i can be happy wiht what i have? i have great friends, a great bf, a loving family etc what can i do?How do you change your frame of mind?okay

this is a toughie. changing you mental state about anything is hard, about yourself is harder.

one thing is to consentrate on the good.

you have a great life. you know you do. it isn't the popular life, but if you had it, which i did and gave it up, you wouldn't want it.

your sis smokes.

well she's gonna look like crap later.

your sis drinks.

well she's gonna FEEL like crap later.

your sis has a thousand girl friends.

none are trust worthy or real, just looking for some time in the spot light.

guys want your sis.

well we know how hard it'll be for her to have a real relationship.



popularity and everything she has seem better from the outside. your life is good, you just aren't able to appreciate it.

so think about other people. help out at soup kitchens and homeless shelters. that'll give you some perspective.



if you want to change, but only if you want to for you, not so people will like you, than make that change. you can do it.



talk to friends and family about how you feel. they will tell you have nothing to worry about.



finally, the most popular people are insecure, and so are the most confident acting.



people at my school think i am incredibly confident and don't care what they think, and I don't, but i used to be wildly insecure people called me emo, or nerdy or other crap.

then there was this song title, fall out boy, Don't you know who you think I am?



I, and only me!, define myself now, and when someone says something about me, I just say %26quot;Don't you know who I think I am?%26quot; smile sweetly, and turn away.



Who cares about what THOSE people think about you?! The only people you should care about are the people that care about you!!!
How do you change your frame of mind?
beer
How do you change your frame of mind?
Meditate.

Picture yourself smiling and happy and surrounded by friends. It works.
Man, just pray about it. I'm not trying to sound preachy, but sometimes that's the only thing that helps. That and being patient. I hope everything works out.
Surround yourself with positive good people with morals. Quit comparing yourself with your sister - just watch, her partying days will catch up with her sooner or later with terrible results - they 99.9% always do. You'll be happier when look to the future with a view of not becoming a %26quot;trainwreck%26quot; that your sister will become and be proud of that.
Wow you know your sister is probably looking at someone else wishing she could be more like them. No one is entirely happy with themselves but to sit there comparing yourself to your sister is ridiculous. I bet you shes insecure and unhappy sometimes too but your not seeing that because you put her up on her pedestool. Stop telling yourself your not enough clearly you are enough, you have great friends, a great boyfriend, a loving family to have all that you must have some things going for you. Stop focusing on what you aren't and start paying attention to all the things that make you amazing.
i know EXACTLY where youre coming from. well, not exactly, but i definitely had a problem with comparing myself to others, still do.



i'm gay, if that makes any sense, and i had a really hard time with it.



you need to find out what makes you happy. discover yourself.



find out what music you love, listen to it, enjoy it. find things you enjoy. mine's music, by the way, haha.



be open. let yourself be open with yourself and with other people. if you open yourself up, you will find people who click with you who will become your friends later.



you dont need to smoke, drink, or go to parties. you just need to have fun. find out what that fun is first though, hopefully something positive :)



hope that helped?
Are you in highschool? (you don't have to answer) If you are wait for college. NONE of it will matter.



People who are popular in highschool get stuck in the pages of the yearbook albums as the best this or that and then they dissapear.



Figure out what you love, what you're good at. Really. What is it? Is it art, music, math, biology, decorating, dogs, writing-there's something. Focus on that skill or interest and improve upon it, learn more. Being good at something, acheiving something, feels better than being a size 3, 2, or 0.



Also start listening to indie music, music from the 60s, rock and roll or something-it sounds trying to conform to the mainstream world is killing you.